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14
Nov 2011

Our Frugal Home Version Of A Montessori-Style Preschool

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Over the last few months, several of our son’s friends have enrolled in Montessori-style preschool and daycare centers.  The parents have had nothing but good things to say about the switch, and my curiosity was piqued.  Our boys are home with us all day, and we have no plans to change that.  But I was wondering if there was more that we should be providing our three year old in terms of the environment where he spends most of his time.

The Wikipedia page about Montessori Education pretty much sums up most of what I’ve read about the concept, and matches closely with what my friends have described about their kids’ preschools.

The main difference between being at home with us all day and being in a daycare or preschool setting is that our sons aren’t interacting with other kids all day.  So we make an effort to get them out and about in social settings quite frequently.  This includes story time at the library, visits to friends’ houses, having friends over here, and impromptu trips to the park during times when we know there are likely to be other kids there.

But in terms of the environment we provide for our boys at home, we’ve always felt that it was pretty good, and now that I’m reading more about the Montessori style of learning, I feel even better about it.

We’ve spent very little money on the stuff we have, and our days are very laid-back and relaxed thanks to our refusal to over-schedule our family’s time.  Here’s what works for us as far as the environment we provide for our three-year-old.

First, and probably most importantly, we don’t own a TV.  Definitely one of the better decisions we’ve made as parents.

Our son’s toys are mostly things that require constant interaction and creative input from him.  Here’s what he plays with the most:

  • A set of wooden railroad tracks and lots of trains to go on it, along with lots of cars and trucks that he includes in his train/vehicle play.  We got the train set on Craigslist and the cars/trucks came from Goodwill.
  • The box of 2×4 offcuts, which he’s been playing with every day for weeks now.  He makes something new with them every day, and incorporates a lot of his other toys into whatever he builds.
  • A large farm that includes a dollhouse-style barn, lots of fence, and numerous farm animals.  We got it at a garage sale for $10, and have added a few more animals from Goodwill.
  • A large box of regular wooden blocks.  Some used to belong to my husband when he was little (my MIL saves everything…) and some came from Goodwill.  They are all shapes and colors and sizes, and include pieces from several different sets of blocks.
  • A wooden castle that my parents made with our son’s help.  He likes to build train tracks that connect the castle to the farm and then invent elaborate stories about who is going where and what they are doing.
  • Lots of little plastic and wooden people/dinosaurs/animals, etc.  These have come from a variety of places (mostly Goodwill and gifts) and he loves to involve them in whatever building he’s currently working on.  At the moment, he’s building train tracks and recreating the children’s book “Dinotrain” using his little plastic dinosaurs as props.
  • All sorts of stuff from the kitchen.  Pots, pans, cookie sheets, cooling racks, spatulas, spoons, measuring cups…
  • The sink.  He likes to push a chair up to the sink and have all sorts of fun.  A large cooking pot in the sink makes a great swimming pool for his plastic ducks and fish, and he also likes to use measuring cups to pour water into various other containers that he finds.
  • His sandbox.  When the weather is nice, he’s out there playing in it every day.  My husband built it out of 2×12 lumber and we filled it with sand from the local landscape center.  If space is tight, a little plastic swimming pool filled with sand works well.  Don’t worry about sand getting in their shoes or on the floor.  That’s why we have brooms and vacuums.  Kids grow up fast, and before you know it, they won’t be interested in a sandbox anymore.  Let them love it while they’re little.

That’s the list that comes to mind off the top of my head.  He plays all day long, using his imagination, building stuff and creating stories to go with what he makes.  He loves to show us the stuff he’s made, and often asks us to come and play with him.  But he’s never bored and he’s almost never confined by structure we’re imposing.  We provide toys that require a lot of creative input from him, and he does the rest.

We do require that all of the toys be cleaned up at the end of the day.  For a long time, that was a challenge, as he wanted no part of it and had to be coaxed and prodded to clean up his messes.  But recently he’s started cleaning up without being prompted and last night he said to me “I don’t need you anymore when I make a mess, because I’m able to clean it up myself.”  Music to a mama’s ears!  We usually all pitch in and clean it up together each evening (it only takes a few minutes because everything just goes into bins – blocks in one, trains in another, farm stuff in another…) but it’s great to see him doing his share.  Cleaning up and meal times are the only real “structured” times that we have during the day when he has to be doing a specific activity that we’ve laid out for him.  The rest of the time, he’s playing and creating his own structure.  We read lots of books, but there’s no specific time or schedule for this – we just fit it in around everything else.  We talk constantly about the stuff he’s doing and the things he’s creating with his toys, and we do our best to answer all of his questions throughout the day.  We don’t have structured “educational” activities, but our son knows his alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes etc. and is starting to be really interested in reading and understanding how letters come together to make words.  He comes to me throughout the day and says things like “house starts with H!”  We’re confident that his academic skills are fine, despite not being in a structured preschool environment.

I did some searching around to see what other parents have done if they wanted to set up a Montessori style preschool environment in their homes.  Some have pictures of beautifully-arranged preschool toys that are all made of wood and look just like the toys you find in a Montessori preschool.  And some take the concept very seriously, following the “rules” of the Montessori environment quite closely.

Our living room doesn’t look like what you might picture when you think of a traditional Montessori preschool.  But on closer inspection (especially if you watch our son play for a few hours), it’s obvious that the specific toys aren’t really the issue.  As long as you have toys that invite discovery and creative play, and little or no TV time, you’re probably on the right track.  You don’t have to spend a fortune on fancy toys and learning tools for your kids.  Limit their screen time and provide them with toys (which can be free or nearly free thanks to thrift stores and Craigslist and the great outdoors) that lend themselves to creative, imaginative play and problem solving.  Let them get wet and dirty.  Don’t worry about drilling them on the ABCs and 123s.  Instead, let them help you bake a batch of muffins and count aloud as they add scoops of oats and raisins.  Keep life simple, let your kids be involved in the things you do on a day-to-day basis, and encourage their creativity and imagination.  Good things will happen – without a lot of money or stress.

I’ve written this post from the perspective of a stay-at-home parent, but I think that the basics can apply to any family that’s looking for inexpensive, simple ways to provide a nurturing environment for their children during whatever time the kids are at home.  I hope it helps!

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Category: just my life, kids, lessons learned  14 Comments
22
Aug 2011

How We Established Our Own Business

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In my post asking what you’d like to see me write about, two readers asked me to address the specifics of how my husband and I set up our home-based business, and I’ve also had numerous emails about this subject over the years.  So I’m going to lay out the basics of what we did, and what has worked for us.  This post is a bit long, but since I’ve had so many questions about this subject over the years, I want to add as many details as possible – both the things we did right, and the stuff I wouldn’t repeat.  I hope it helps!

**** EDIT:  I would add that just because this stuff worked for us, obviously it’s not a how-to manual and it won’t work for everybody or every business.  We worked hard, but we also had a lot of luck on our side.  This post is meant to highlight the steps we took, some of which might work for you if you’re thinking of starting your own business.  But please don’t feel like you have to do the same things we did or make the same decisions we did.  The world is a much different place than it was ten years ago, especially when it comes to online businesses. ****

1.  A disclaimer… We’re in the individual health insurance industry.  It has been great for us for nearly ten years.  But I wouldn’t recommend it right now to someone starting from scratch, simply because everything is so up in the air with health care reform.  The reform law that passed last year has significantly cut our commissions (and likely driven a lot of newer agents out of the industry, because it’s a lot easier to weather commission cuts if you have a large, established client base), and there are a lot of unanswered questions about how the industry will work as of 2014.  And of course, the whole law is headed for the Supreme Court, so it’s anybody’s guess how this will all shake out.  In a nutshell – insurance is great, but if you want to become self employed, I would steer clear of individual health insurance at least for the next few years.

2.  We eased our way in.  My husband quit his corporate job in early 2002 and started selling health insurance.  I kept my corporate job for another year and half so that we could live off of my income while he got things started.  At that point, I quit my job and joined him.  During the first year he was self employed, he made very little money, and it would have been particularly rough if we had both jumped into being self employed at the same time.

3.  We had no kids and very little in the way of financial obligations when we first became self-employed.  On the other hand, we also had no savings or assets to fall back on.  Our rent was about $700/month, we had no debts, and our living expenses basically amounted to food, gas, utilities, etc.  So it was relatively easy to make do on very little income.  It would have been nice to have a little bit of savings to cushion us, but we were very young and living paycheck to paycheck.  We bought our first house after my husband had been self-employed for about a year, and that bumped our housing costs up to about $1280/month.  Definitely a stretch.

4.  We used credit cards to get by.  I know this is a big DON’T when starting a business, and I wouldn’t recommend it.  But it worked for us.  By the time I had been working with my husband for about a year, we probably had $35,000 in debts.  This was partially due to making barely enough money to pay the mortgage and using credit cards for stuff like groceries, although most of the debt was business-related.  We spent a lot of money on marketing:  pay-per-click with Google, multimedia business cards, buying leads from an agency we worked with in the first couple years… it all added up, really fast.

5.  We played the credit card game, transferring balances from one card to another in order to get zero-interest deals.  It actually worked really well for us, but that’s because I tend to be extremely detail-oriented with stuff like that, and I always made sure that I read the fine print and got things paid off before the promotional periods expired.  Again, using personal credit cards to start a business is probably not the best idea.

6.  We incorporated.  This was an excellent move, but one that we didn’t make until 2006.  Looking back, we should have done it sooner.  Once we incorporated, we were able to completely separate our business and personal finances, and become W-2 employees of our business.  Much more official than the self-employed status we had for the previous few years.  By that point, we had nearly paid off our various debts, but once we incorporated, we had the option to get a business loan if we needed it, and we did get a business credit card.  That would probably have been a smarter way to go about financing the start-up costs of our business, but we didn’t know what incorporation entailed and didn’t become educated about the benefits until we had been self employed for a few years.  We went through an online company that specialized in incorporation paperwork, and I think it cost us about $500.  We’re an S-corp, which has worked perfectly for us (there are several options for incorporation – do your research from both a business and tax perspective before you settle on an option).

7.  We lived poor.  I think “fake it till you make it” is terrible advice.  I know some people will disagree, and I know that there are a few professions where it might actually be good advice.  But for most of us, clothes from a thrift store (which look just like clothes from the mall!) and a used car or bike will work just fine.  So does a small house or apartment.  Even with our frugal lifestyle, it took us until 2007 to pay off the debts we incurred to start our business (most of that money was spent in 2003 and 2004).  If we had financed new cars, eaten at fancy restaurants, bought new clothes, etc., it would have taken much longer.

8. We transitioned to working on-line back in 2003.  This was probably the best move we made in setting up our business.  Over the course of about two years, we went from having a mostly car-based business to having a mostly home-based business.  These days, we literally never leave the house for work at all.  We can “meet” with far more clients  in a day than we ever could have when we were driving all over the state.  We can work from anywhere as long as we have high speed internet and a phone.  The best part about working on-line is that we’re both home all day with our sons.  My husband is in his office (either in the basement or out in the office we built in our backyard) all day, but he can take breaks to come and hang out with us, and I get to be with our boys all day, taking breaks to fit in business-related work when I can.  (I only work about 15 hours a week for our business these days).

9.  My husband spent hundreds of hours in the early years of our business teaching himself the art of search engine optimization in the evenings, after a full day of work.  This has paid off tremendously for us, but there were many late nights in front of the computer.  If you’re going to be self-employed, you’re going to have to put a lot of time or money (or both!) into marketing.  Being self-employed does not mean that you work whenever you feel like it.  Especially early on, it pretty much means that you work all the time.  But if you’re ok with that, the amazing thing about the world we live in today is that you can learn – online, from home – just about anything you put your mind to.

10.  We didn’t seek out glamorous, cool jobs.  There is nothing exciting about health insurance.  Actually, we think it’s pretty interesting, and all the legislation surrounding it for the last few years has been fascinating to us.  But when you’re at a party and tell someone you’re a health insurance broker, they tend to say “oh, that’s cool” and then change the subject.  We are not astronauts.  But that’s fine with us.  My husband has always wanted to have his own business, and he loves the challenges that come with being his own boss.  But in general, we do not find our primary fulfillment from our career.  We look at our business as a way to earn money, and we seek fulfillment from the things we love (gardening, raising our boys, being outdoors, spending time with family, learning new things, etc.).  I know that some people are very successful at making something they love doing into a career.  But having the mindset that work has to be something you love can also be a big hurdle to clear if you’re looking at setting up your own business.  Just food for thought.  Whatever you do for a living, I would recommend doing it to the best of your ability.  Don’t be a slacker.  But don’t feel like you’re selling yourself short if you’re earning an honest living doing something that is “just a job”.

11.  We’re honest.  This is huge.  Working for yourself means that nobody is looking over your shoulder on a daily basis, making sure you’re being ethical and honest.  Some self-employed people get themselves into trouble because they start to feel like they can do whatever they want.  They tell customers what they want to hear (or what needs to be said to make a sale, whether it’s true or not), they stretch the truth with the IRS, they fudge compliance paperwork… there are all sorts of traps that you can fall into if you let yourself start to deviate from the path of honest-and-ethical-all-the-time.  In the insurance industry, there are some carriers that pay higher commissions than others, and there are always carriers that are running various bonus programs for agents who sell a high volume of their products.  But our philosophy is that the best strategy is to sell each client the product that works best for that client, and that the money will take care of itself.  We might not have always qualified for the best bonuses or the highest commissions, but we have lots of clients who have been with us for nearly a decade.  Our BBB and insurance license records are complaint-free, and we rest easy at night knowing that all of our income has been reported to the IRS (yes, even the income that the payers didn’t report), all of our records are in order, and all of our clients have received honest advice.

12.  We paid ourselves first.  For about a year in 2003/04, we didn’t contribute any money to our retirement plans.  That was our roughest year in terms of income, and we were barely able to pay our mortgage.  But by the summer of 2004, we decided that we had to make retirement savings a priority again, even if it meant tightening our already-tight belts.  So we started small, putting $100/month into each of our IRAs.  As we earned more money, we increased the amounts we were contributing to retirement.  We’ve kept our day-to-day living expenses about the same for the last five years or so (not as frugal as we were in 2003, but nothing extravagant either), which has allowed us to set up a SEP-IRA through our business, max out our HSA and IRAs each year, and also create an emergency fund.  If we’re able to keep on earning a good living from our current business indefinitely, that’s great – we’ll just retire a bit earlier.  But if not, it will be nice to have a bit of a cushion.  Especially now that we have kids.

13.  We stopped taking advance commissions very early on.  The first couple of years that we were “self-employed” we were actually contract workers for a large insurance brokerage.  We were self-employed, and only got paid if we made a sale, but many agencies will pay advance commissions to agents.  Basically, when you make a sale, they pay you ten months of commissions up front.  That makes for some nice paychecks, but it also means you’re in debt to the agency.  If the client ends up cancelling, you have to pay the money back.  If the client keeps the policy, the debt to the agency will be repaid in 10 months, but it becomes a never-ending cycle.  Most of the other agents we talked to had quite a bit of advance commission debt, even though they were making big paychecks every month.  We decided we’d rather live off of what we were actually earning, and switched to as-earned commissions.  That was painful at first, but we slept easier at night.  And it made it much easier to transition to setting up our own agency, since we were no longer relying on a larger agency to pay us advance commissions.

14.  We worked hard to build solid relationships with the top insurance carriers.  We avoided cut-rate carriers, even if they were offering sweet commissions and extra bonuses.  We wanted to make sure that the products we were offering our clients were from solid, reputable carriers rather than some new carrier that had just entered the market and was offering trips to Hawaii for brokers who sold lots of their policies.

I hope this is helpful for those of you who are interested in setting up your own business.  A lot of this stuff will apply to many industries and lines of work – not just insurance.  The internet has given us more opportunities than ever to be our own bosses and work from home.  Of course, it’s also created lots of scams and traps for the unwary.  If something sounds too good to be true ($8000/month, working from home, no experience necessary, start tomorrow!), it probably is.  Establishing a successful internet-based business isn’t easy, but if you make it work, the rewards are huge.

 

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Category: Debt, insurance, just my life, lessons learned, work  6 Comments
30
Jul 2010

Inside-Out Simplicity

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inside-out-simplicity-125X125It’s very rare for me to purchase a book, but I was inspired to buy Joshua Becker’s new e-book, Inside-Out Simplicity, and I just finished reading it this morning.  In so many ways, it echoes my sentiments exactly.

Minimalism and simplicity have become quite trendy lately, but quite often the people who are attracted to simple, minimalist lifestyles are young, single, and don’t have children.  Joshua Becker – married with two children – is an excellent resource for people looking for ideas on how to life a simple life, without a lot of stuff, even if they have children.  Since we have a child, his words tend to ring especially true for me, and a lot of the life lessons from children that he discusses in his new book are things I’ve witnessed myself over the last two years since we became parents.

Not only is simplicity possible when you have children, but I believe that it’s even more important when we have children.  As parents, we are responsible not just for feeding, clothing, and sheltering our kids, but we are also responsible for shaping and teaching a new person.  And the things we do are far more important than the things we say.  So focusing on what really matters in life (rather than material possessions, status, power, etc.) is even more important if you’re trying to teach your values to a new little person.

There are many ways to view minimalism and simplicity, and I believe they can enhance your life regardless of your goals or values.  I have no desire to live out of a backpack or count how many possessions I have.  I currently have very little desire to travel, and am very content on our little mini farm that we’re creating.  Maybe that’s because my husband and I traveled quite a bit throughout our 20s.  I was also a Peace Corps Volunteer in Africa, which entails heading out on a two year journey with only what you can fit in two suitcases (the return trip had the same two suitcase limit, which meant that nearly everything I acquired while I was in Africa was given away before I left).  I have had lots of travel adventures (which I thoroughly enjoyed) although currently the adventure that appeals most to me is creating a happy, nurturing home for my husband and son.  And I’m finding that the adventure is enhanced by minimizing our possessions and focusing on our inter-personal relationships rather than our stuff.

Many books have been written on the subject of minimalism as it relates to physical possessions.  How to get rid of things, how to stop shopping, how to downsize… all are valuable tools (including Joshua’s first book, Simplify.  7 Guiding Principles To Help Anyone Declutter Their Home And Life – a great read if you want practical tips and solutions).  Joshua’s new book, Inside-Out Simplicity, gets to the root of it all, and forces us to really look at what truly matters and peel away all the stuff that doesn’t. 

One of my favorite lines from Inside-Out Simplicity is “…in our consumerist culture, where discontent is promoted and material gratification is encourages, learning to be content can be very difficult”.  The book is over 100 pages of tips and insights for how you can achieve contentment, and it’s well worth reading.

Joshua starts the book by noting that he doesn’t expect everyone to agree with all that he’s written, and that he knows it may generate some controversy.  The only part of the whole book that I didn’t agree with was the section on spirituality, as it’s different from my own views.  I believe that generosity, simplicity, gratitude, selflessness, and equality are terribly important, but I have come to this conclusion without any sort of spiritual beliefs… I just think that those things are what it means to be a good person, and I am content with simply striving to be a good person, without an external spiritual or religious code to guide me.  Obviously everyone is going to have a different view on this sort of thing, and I can whole-heartedly recommend Joshua’s book as I agree with the other 98% of it.  If you read it, please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

EDIT:  I forgot to mention that although Inside-Out Simplicity is much deeper than a how-to manual for de-cluttering, it still inspired me in that regard.  I’ve written quite a bit over the last few months about how I’ve kicked my thrift store shopping habit and donated several car-loads of stuff.  I hadn’t been donating as much lately, simply because most of the extraneous stuff has already been donated.  But after reading Joshua’s book, I filled the trunk of my car with stuff to donate today, and it feels great.

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Category: just my life, kids, lessons learned, other bloggers  6 Comments
16
Jul 2010

Frugal Shopping For A Baby Shower

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I’m going to a baby shower this weekend for the wife of one of my husband’s cousins.  I’ve known her for years and we get along well, but we only see each other a few times a year and aren’t super close.  In situations like that, I tend to stick to buying things off the registry (if it’s a very close friend or family member I’ll usually go all out with some sort of handmade item that I know the recipient will love, but if I don’t know the person as well, I figure the registry is a better bet). 

So I braved Babies R Us a few days ago in search of a gift.  The only time I ever go there is if I’m looking for baby shower presents.  So I have no idea where anything is, and I find the whole place a bit overwhelming.  I’m firmly in the "less is more"  camp when it comes to baby gear (and most everything else these days) and that is definitely not the idea they are trying to convey.  But I digress.

As I was flipping through the registry, I saw one of those things you attach to a car seat or stroller to keep the baby warm, and it seemed like a good practical gift.  When I got to that section of the store, I noticed that they only had one left, and it was a bit bedraggled looking.  It was still in it’s package, but it had been taken out and stuffed back in without being folded.  I knew that could be easily fixed (the package had a zipper on it, so it could be opened, folded, and put back in without damaging anything), and as an added bonus, that one last cover had been marked down to half price.  Score!  Since it was so inexpensive, I was able to pick out another item from the registry and get them both for the same price that the cover was supposed to be.  (later that evening I rearranged the stroller cover in its packaging, and you’d never be able to tell that it was messed with at all – good as new.)

I then browsed through the shoes and socks section, looking for something cute to tie onto the outside of the package.  But everything I liked was $10 to $20, and I had already spent as much as I had budgeted for the shower.  So I decided to just get the gifts I had already purchased and call it good.

My next stop was Goodwill, as I’m still on a mission to find a hat for our scarecrow.  No luck with the hat, but I decided to take a peek at the baby shoes, just in case.  And I stumbled upon the cutest little pair of baby boots:

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They’re soft and fuzzy on the inside, easy to put on and off, and will keep tiny toes warm in the winter.  They’re brand new, with their original hanger still attached, and I got them for two bucks.  I actually like them more than the $15 shoes I saw at babies R Us. 

That was all I bought at Goodwill.  It’s been over three months now since I vowed to de-clutter, stop buying clothes, and start donating more (a lot more) and shopping less (a lot less).  I never would have thought that my formerly thrift store addicted self would be content to not even glance at the clothing or housewares section in the thrift store, but that’s how it is.  A year ago, I would have left the store with at least a few new treasures, but all I bought was a small gift. 

I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

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Category: baby, gifts, lessons learned  7 Comments
13
Jul 2010

Just Because It’s Free Doesn’t Mean I Need It

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Last week, a good friend came to visit, and she brought a huge bag full of clothes that her son had outgrown.  Many of them were hand-me-downs for her, and she’s passing on the love.  She knows that I only buy clothes used anyway, and hand-me-downs fit right in for our family.

But these days, I want less stuff, not more.

In the past, when someone gave me stuff like that, I would stash it all away, thrilled with the thought of free stuff.  But now, my first thought is to consider whether we really need the stuff in the first place.  My friend mentioned that she knew there was a ton of stuff in the bag and that we should just keep whatever we wanted and donate the rest.  Good advice, but not something I would have been likely to do in the past.

These days, I would rather have our son’s closet neat, organized, and not too full than have it overflowing with clothes.  And there is no possible scenario in which he needs eight sets of pajamas.  He usually wears the same pajamas several nights in a row, and I wash laundry several times a week.  So I kept a couple sets of non-flame resistant pajamas, and put the rest in a box to donate.  I did the same with shirts, shorts, and shoes.  Our son already has enough clothing, and just because I could add to his stash for free doesn’t mean that I should. In addition to donating a lot of the hand-me-downs, I also donated some of his current clothing and replaced it with nice hand-me-downs from my friend… nothing wrong with a little change of pace!

I know that I have often accepted anything offered for free (stuff set out at the curb, listed nearby on Craigslist, given by a friend, etc.) just because it was free.  And because I might need it someday.  But that leads to a cluttered house and the accumulation of a bunch of things we don’t need.  I no longer browse the Craigslist free section.  If there’s something we need for a project we’re working on, I’ll search specifically for that item.  But looking at a list of free things without any particular needs in mind is a good way to increase clutter and waste time.

Being frugal is great, but acquiring things just because they’re a bargain or free is a bit counter-productive.  We spend time gathering, sorting, cleaning, organizing… all for stuff that we really don’t need in the first place.  I’d much rather have just enough than too much, regardless of how great a deal something is.

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Category: clutter, lessons learned  15 Comments
10
Jun 2010

Letting Go

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Thanks for all the great feedback on my last post.  I especially liked the comment from David, who said

I’ve found that the problem with comparing ourselves to others is that you’re usually comparing your strength to their weakness or vice versa. Either way, it’s not fair.

Exactly!  That is so true, and a good reminder for the times when we start to compare ourselves – either favorably or unfavorably – with other people.  Focusing on how we can make ourselves better people compared with who we were a year or a month or a day ago is probably a much more effective way to make positive changes.

I made a big step in my purging process today.  Physically it was only one box, but mentally it was a big step in terms of letting go of things that are no longer useful, regardless of how much they cost or how much we once liked them.

About seven years ago, back in the very early days of our business, my husband and I purchased a multi-media business card package.  It was supposed to be an interactive DVD that we could send to our clients, and it was packaged in a fancy case with our pictures and lots of info about our business.  It took several months to complete the process of making them, as they were custom made for our business.  Sometime during the process, the company that made them ran into serious financial problems, and nearly declared bankruptcy before our order was finished.  To make a long story short (and boy was it ever a long story at the time, complete with lots of tears on my part), the “interactive DVD” part of the package turned into a generic DVD about our industry rather than one specific to our business.  Although we were disappointed with that change, we were generally pleased with the finished product, and sent lots of them to clients and prospective clients for the first few years after we got them.

We had signed up for a payment plan to finance the project, and it took quite a while to pay them off.  Our business wasn’t making much money back then, and we were making the minimum payments each month for a long time.  Eventually we were able to pay more than the minimum due, and I think we paid them off sometime in 2004 or early 2005… Funny how I can’t even remember now, given that I was so stressed out about it at the time (a lot of the stress came from not knowing if we would even get the finished product, even though we were on the hook with the financing company to pay for them either way).  Whatever happened, that money is long gone and forgotten – the proverbial water under the bridge.

Our business has become much more successful over the years.  And it has also morphed into something that we do entirely on-line and over the phone.  We never have to drive anywhere or send anything to clients by snail mail.  We’ve basically made our office paperless; I can’t even remember the last time we bought paper or envelopes or anything like that.  Times have changed, and we’ve changed with them.

And that brings us back to the multi-media business cards.  We still had a box full of them sitting in our basement.  It’s probably been two or three years since we sent any out to clients, and the last box had just been hanging out in the crawl space of our old house and the basement of our new house.  Were we ever going to go back to sending them out?  No.  We have much more efficient ways of communicating with clients now, and our marketing strategy is much more targeted and streamlined that it was in 2003.  So what was I going to do with the box that was taking up space in our basement?

I checked to see if the cases were recyclable… they were not.  I checked to see if our information could be taken out of them so that they could possibly be used by someone else (I was thinking of putting them on Craigs List for free if I could get our info out of them).  But that wasn’t possible, as our marketing material was permanently encased in the plastic.

So I threw them away.

It felt great.  The box actually sat on the kitchen counter top for about 24 hours before I got up the nerve to toss them.  I pondered all the money we had spent on them.  But then I thought about all the ones we had sent out to clients back in those early years, and all the good feedback we got.  The money hadn’t been wasted.  We had ordered the minimum number of cards possible, but we just didn’t need all of them.  We weren’t going to start going backwards in our marketing strategy just because we had leftover multi-media business cards.  And I was tired of seeing that box every time I went down to the basement.

Now the empty box is sitting in the garage waiting to be filled with stuff to donate to the thrift store, and my life feels just a little bit lighter.  Just because something cost a lot of money doesn’t mean we should hang onto it forever.  Once it’s no longer useful, it doesn’t matter what we spent to buy it, or how useful it was in the past.  We live in the present, and we might as well make sure that the things we surround ourselves with are helping to make that present as good as it can be.

The other take-away lesson here:  don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.  I wish I could go back in time and see the me who was crying over those business cards.  I’d tell her that she really doesn’t need to worry, and that seven years down the road she won’t remember how much they cost, when they arrived, or how long it took to pay them off.  Focusing and working hard to pay off debt or solve whatever problem is facing you is definitely worthwhile.  But stressing and freaking out about it are not – they don’t solve the problem any faster, and they take away from time we can be feeling happy instead.  Now I just have to focus on applying that lesson to my current life.  I’m much better about not stressing about things than I used to be, but it’s still a work in progress.

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Category: just my life, lessons learned  14 Comments
08
Jun 2010

Getting Off The Frugal High Horse

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I’ve been blogging here for almost four years now – time flies! – and sometimes it’s fun to look back at posts I wrote back in the day.  It makes our debt-free (except the mortgage) life feel even better when I remember the days when I was keeping track of all of our debts on a yellow legal pad.  But I notice when I read some of my early posts that I was a bit of a self-righteous frugalista.  And I see that as a pretty common theme in the frugal blogosphere – it’s easy to start to feel superior and smarter when you’re focusing on debt reduction, saving money, living frugally, etc.  It’s easy to start thinking that you’ve got everything figured out so much better than all the people who aren’t doing whatever it is that you’re doing.  I know I was guilty of this, and I know I’m not the only one.

I mentioned recently that I’ve been making lots of small changes in my life, and one of them has been to be less judgmental in general.  I’m also feeling very grateful for all the good luck that has brought me to where I am today.  Just a few years ago I’d have scoffed at the idea of luck being a factor.  I hated the idea that I had ever been lucky – I preferred to think that it was all a result of hard work and dedication.  But that’s just not true.  Fact is, I was born to two well educated parents who wanted me and loved me from the very beginning.  That alone is a pretty lucky start.  And then I was encouraged to get a good education of my own, to eat well, to exercise, to value nature, to live without debt… and the list goes on.  Yes, I believe my husband and I have worked very hard to get where we are today, but I’d be a fool if I said that luck wasn’t involved.  I really like this quote from Barry Switzer:

“Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.”

I was definitely born on third base, but I don’t want to go through life thinking I hit a triple.  I want to be grateful for what I have, and to not judge other people who see things in a different way than I do.  I truly believe that living within one’s means is a pretty important aspect of happiness, but it’s up to each of us to decide how to do that.  For my own family, saving a good chunk of our income is very important.  But that isn’t better or worse than another family who spends a bigger chunk of their income – as long as they are happy and content with their life, and living within their means (and hopefully doing the best they can to take good care of this little planet that we all share).

Personal finance is just that – personal.  Don’t let things you read on blogs make you feel guilty about the way you spend your money – it’s your own money after all.  If something about your life – financial or otherwise – is making you feel bad, then change it.  But don’t change it just because it’s what someone else is doing.  We’re all different, and we all want different things.  Just keep your focus on what you want most, and you’ll be fine.   There will always be people who are smarter, richer, happier, more frugal, etc.  Be inspired, but don’t feel guilty.  I’ve found that the less I judge others, the happier I am.  Hopefully it works for you too.

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Category: just my life, lessons learned  23 Comments
02
Jun 2010

Creating A Life That Needs No Escape

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Now that the summer vacation season is underway, I’ve been pondering the idea of vacations.  My husband and I have been self employed for years now, so technically we can go on vacation whenever we want.  We do have to continue to work while we’re away, but our job can be done from anywhere with a laptop and internet connection. 

Once our son is old enough to appreciate and enjoy trips, we’ll start going on them again.  But for now, they’re on hold.  But as much as I enjoy traveling to new places, I am not sitting here thinking about all the places I’d like to visit five years from now.  Instead, we’re actively working to create a life from which we don’t need or want to get away.  I think that for a lot of people, vacations are as much about getting away from normal life as they are about seeing new places.  Most people get two or three weeks of vacation time each year.  Do you really want to have two or three great weeks per year, during which you try to get away from whatever it is you do with your time the other 49 or 50 weeks?  I would rather have 52 great weeks and no desire to escape from my life.  If we get the urge to see some new, exciting place once our son is a little older, that would be great.  But I don’t ever want vacation to feel like escape, or to be something that I look forward to with so much anticipation that I forget to appreciate all the regular life days that lead up to it.

Some people are in situations (for example, being a full-time caregiver to a person with Alzheimer’s) that probably require some form of regular "escape" no matter how they tweak their life to make it as enjoyable as possible.  But for many of us, the things we’re trying to escape from are self-imposed stresses.  Tons of extra-curricular activities for our kids is one example.  Kids do not need to be enrolled in six different kinds of lessons throughout their entire childhood in order to grow up to be good, talented people.  Another example is the vehicles we drive.  We don’t need to be spending a good chunk of our income each year (which translates into a good chunk of our time) buying, insuring, and maintaining cars.  Old, paid-for cars are great, and so are bicycles.

The money we earn can be used for so many things, but most of us are using it to pay for houses, cars, stuff to fill up the houses, and two weeks of vacation each year to escape from our lives.  It doesn’t have to be this way.  What if we started to really focus on how we can create a life that we never want to leave?  Travel could still be a part of that life (if that’s what makes you happy) but it could be for the adventure rather than as an escape.

My husband and I have made the happy discovery that we both love working in the garden, with our son and our dog playing in the yard nearby.  We both love digging in the dirt, tending our little plants, adding beautiful flowers and trees to our little oasis, and seeing new sprouts and buds each day.  We’ve been harvesting radishes now for a week or so, and the kale and chard are exploding.  We will have zucchini ready next week, and we’ve been eating spinach salads every day lately.  Our dream is becoming a reality, and it feels amazing.  It took a lot of effort to get here.  We had to make some major changes – realizing that what we really wanted (a huge garden) was not compatible with where we were living, and then going through the process of selling our house and buying another one.  Our 3/4 acre yard was a blank (but weedy!) canvas when we first saw it a year ago, and now it has an orchard, a berry patch, and 27 vegetable beds.  It also has ten new flowering trees (each about a foot tall), lots of new evergreens (also about a foot tall), some new shade trees, and lots of flowering perennials that we found for free on the sidewalk down the street last fall.

But although it has taken much effort to get to this point, we have enjoyed every minute of that effort.  We have found something that we both love doing, and it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like we’re on vacation every day.  Yes, we still have to work to keep our business running, but we get to do that from our own home, and hang out with our son at the same time.  And every afternoon/evening, we get to go out and play in the yard. 

What it takes to feel like you’re on vacation every day is obviously going to be different from one person to the next.  But the important part is to figure out what it means for you.  And what it doesn’t mean.  And then take a close look to see if what you’re spending your time and money on is really what matters to you.  If it isn’t, start making changes.  It’s that simple, but putting it into practice isn’t easy.  Really, major changes rarely are, because we are creatures of inertia.  It’s easier to stay in a rut, even if that rut isn’t making us happy.  But the effort required to get out of our ruts is truly worth it.

For a little more inspiration, check out today’s article on Far Beyond The Stars.  Everett has some great ideas there for ways that you can cut expenses (and thus the money needed to sustain your lifestyle) and free up time and money to pursue the things that really matter to you.

I’ll leave you with some pictures from around our yard this morning.  This is our potato bed, freshly covered with a new layer of compost and hay:

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And here is our son’s sandbox, which he loves.  We ended up lining the hole with weed blocking fabric to create a barrier between the clay and the sand, and our little guy has been having a blast out there.

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And some beautiful surprise irises that popped up this spring:

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Happy Wednesday!  Enjoy pondering what you can do to start creating a life from which you never want to escape.

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27
May 2010

Continuing To Purge

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Over the last several months, I’ve made numerous small changes in my life, and I am thrilled with the results.  It all started last fall when I began making the bed every morning.  I had never done that before (I used to make the bed about once a week, at best), but now I can’t imagine leaving the bedroom in the morning without making the bed.  It was a small change, but my success with it was the catalyst for a lot of other small changes.

The most recent change I’ve made was to start appreciating the idea of living with less stuff.  We have a 1320 square foot house (plus a full unfinished basement).  Three people, a cat, and a dog, and somehow we had managed to fill not only the house but the basement as well.  Just about everything we own was purchased used, so we didn’t have a huge financial investment in any of it, but our stuff was taking up way too much time and space.  So I started purging.  I’ve taken three full car-loads to the thrift store recently (I have a station wagon, so that’s a lot of stuff) and have avoided going into the store when I dropped stuff off.

I just checked out credit card statement, and so far this month, all that we’ve bought is food and irrigation supplies for our garden (my husband got the irrigation set up last week, and so far it’s working great).  No toys, clothes, shoes, etc.  Financially, skipping the thrift stores doesn’t make much of a difference.  I would say that in an average month I used to spend somewhere between $20 and $30 at the thrift stores.  I never shop at the mall, really the only place I shopped other than thrift stores was the grocery store.  But while there’s not much of an impact on our budget, I can already see the impact in our house.  Rooms are starting to look emptier, and take less time to clean (bare surfaces are a lot easier to clean than surfaces with a bunch of stuff on them).  My craft area in the basement is much neater, as I cleared out about five boxes of material and supplies that I didn’t really need.  It’s easier in general to find things in the basement now, as there’s a lot less stuff down there.  Nothing is safe from my purging right now… if it hasn’t been used in the last year or so, it’s out.  Decorative items are mostly out, except for a few things that we truly love.  I’m finding that it’s much easier to get rid of things now than it was when I started.  Things that I debated about a month ago are easy to toss now.  I have empty space in the linen closet and our clothes closet.  My sock drawer closes easily, and even the kitchen cupboards are emptier.

I used to go to the thrift stores just for fun.  I would call my sister or my parents and ask if they wanted to meet me at Goodwill, and we’d just wander around for a while.  Now I can call them and see if they want to meet us for a walk on the trail instead.

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10
Mar 2010

Focusing On What We Want Most

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Somewhere recently I came across a quote that went something like this:

Never sacrifice what you want most for what you want right now.

This really resonated with me, as I think it can be applied to just about anything in life… money, exercise, diet, personal relationships, jobs, etc.  We all have things that are on our list of what we want most.  But we often let what we want now get in the way.  For myself, my own list of what I want most looks something like this (in no particular order):

  • To always have a strong relationship with my husband and son and with our extended family and friends
  • To still be active and healthy when I’m 100
  • To own our home free and clear as soon as possible
  • To be able to weather whatever financial storms life might send our way

Since these are my priorities, I try to make them a part of my life every day.  I spend time with my husband and son, and make sure that I keep in close contact with the rest of my family and friends.  I exercise every day, and make sure that pretty much every bite of food that passes my lips is increasing my chances of reaching that 100 year mark.  We put extra money towards our mortgage every month.  We set aside a good chunk of our income each month into various savings accounts, continuing to keep our lifestyle pretty much the way it was when we were earning very little money.  By doing these things, we’re keeping our focus on what we want most, rather than on what we might want at the moment.

Over the years, I’ve found that focusing on what we want most has become a habit.  So much so that what we want right now and what we want most are almost always the same thing.  I derive much more satisfaction from sending extra money towards our mortgage than I would from spending that money on a pair of shoes, for example.  And I much prefer an apple to a piece of cake – seriously! (that took a while… I used to have a raging sweet tooth)

The thing I love most about the little piece of wisdom at the top of the post is how it applies to anyone, no matter how different our goals might be.  One person’s strongest wish might be to become president of her company, while another person’s greatest desire might be to climb Mount Everest.  It doesn’t matter what we want… what matters is that we each know what we want, and focus on it, without letting day to day distractions and fleeting desires get in the way.

I found this quote inspiring, and I hope some of you do too.  If it inspires you to write down the things that you want most, and figure out strategies for getting them, even better!

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Category: just my life, lessons learned  12 Comments
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