To those who say it is violating “dearly held” convictions to eat meat that is served at someone’s house: A person may have many convictions that clash in rare instances. Would you feed your child a medicine that was tested on animals if it was the only thing that would save his life? Of course you would, because your conviction to keep your child out of harm’s way is more important than your conviction to reduce animal suffering.

Likewise, I choose not to buy commercially produced meat and dairy products for my household. My “conviction” does not extend so far as to force my choices on my host. That is not hypocrisy, I’m not saying I’m veg and then ordering steak for dinner. My goal is to reduce animal cruelty, not to expunge every trace of it from my life. Even PETA made a statement at one time that said any effort to reduce consumption of animal products was to be applauded, even if it was merely a small reduction.

I agree with the commenter that said Vegetarians that insist on utter strictness give the lifestyle a bad rap. How many times have we heard “I can’t be vegetarian, I love meat too much”? These people could still REDUCE their consumption, but they are made to feel like they are hypocrites for doing so, so they don’t even bother. That is a shame.

All that just to say: Frugal Babe, I’m glad you are able to integrate Ethical eating habits into your life without needing it to become your identity. I wish more people would have such maturity.

Add to this the fact that my husband is on a strict dialysis diet and needs very large amounts of high quality protein at every meal. He cannot eat dairy (cheese), dried beans, peanut butter, and a whole range of vegetables and other foods. His dietician has said vegetarian should be a last resort if he wants to stay as healthy as possible.

As a family we try to work together to meet everyone’s needs. But as the cook I have to admit that some of the enjoyment of entertaining is gone. I am getting older, and simple meals would be easiest for me. My food entertaining has become complicated.

B N

And just a little food for thought as far as labeling ourselves… I started running about 15 years ago. Over the years, I’ve averaged between 10 and 40 miles a week (not counting the last two months of my pregnancy, when all my runs quickly evolved into walks). I consider myself a runner. Do I run like Deena Kastor? Hell no. Do I consider a woman who runs five miles a week to be a runner? Absolutely, if that’s what she calls herself. As long as she laces up her shoes and heads out the door, I don’t care how far, how fast, or how often she runs. She’s still a runner. And I’m a vegetarian. I can’t remember the last time I ate meat. I think it was in a soup at my parents’ house a few months ago. If there are people who don’t like that I call myself a vegetarian, that isn’t my problem.

I don’t want to come across as mean spirited. I am simply passionate about the cause and confused because of aforementioned questions about following convictions.

I’m also a former English teacher- I like definitions. One is not a vegetarian if they eat meat once every 3 months. That’s a flexitarian. Above I outlined how difficult people who call themselves vegetarian but will eat meat when out make it for people who are actually vegetarian. We have to reexplain what a vegetarian is and still have the waiter say, “but a veg ate fish last week!” and scratch their heads. Also, it makes the vegetarian movement look like it is flaky and inhabited by people who don’t stick to their convictions. But then again I was probably wrong to assume FB is an ethical vegetarian. There are many reasons to eat a vegetarian diet… so sorry that I assumed that.

Why no honey? Being a vegan means forgoing all animal products. So I forgo all animal products. Do a quick google search on honey production. Do I cheat and use moisturizers with lanolin? NO! I wouldn’t call myself a vegan if I did. Then I’d be a vegetarian. If you eat meat once in a while at someone’s house you’re an omnivore that enjoys a vegetarian diet at home.

To Jill I don’t think you’re unpleasant just passionate. Maybe what Kelly, Academic and Neimanmarxist are reacting to is a perceived attack on Frugal Babe.

What I think Jill is saying is how can you eat meat some of the time, and violate principles you hold dear, because you want people to be more comfortable? Shouldn’t such principles be immutable? I can understand this as I was a vegetarian for 10 years.

However Frugal Babe express very well her feelings and thoughts on the subject. She’s thought it through and it’s a matter of priorities for her. And I think she is indeed doing better than 99% of the population.

However I have to say the thing that made feel me a bit sad is the words “and to make sure that he knows it is absolutely unacceptable to make his own food preferences known if someone else is preparing the food.” (I agree no one should be expected to make another meal to accommodate a fussy or conscious eater) but have to say that for 10 years I made my food preferences known when often I wasn’t preparing the food.

Whether you want to look at this as people pleasing versus self-determination, or an issue of consideration and respecting your host is your call but it may not hurt to look whether there are better absolutes to instill than this.

To answer FB’s question to J and Jill:

In my ten years as a vegetarian – many spent in a rural conservative area where being a vegetarian was akin to being crazy – I would either just have what people were having minus the meat or take my own subsitute.

I took vegetarian sausages to barbecues. The hosts didn’t feel embarrassed instead they gave me a hard time!

Growing up on a sheep farm meant there were few illusions about where meat came from. I couldn’t cut a sheep’s throat open and bleed it. Later I wouldn’t even want to pay other people to do it for me.

I understand that people have strong opinions about what they eat/why they will or won’t eat certain products…….but surely we can be civil if we disagree.

Surely Frugal Babe can call herself a vegetarian if she predominantly follows a vegetarian diet??? I don’t see what it is so offensive for her to eat the odd meal containing meat if she feels it is a polite and gracious thing to do as a guest.

Jill – I can understand your logic (although it could have been shared in a more pleasant manner) but you can’t expect everyone that follows a predominantly vegetarian diet to be as passionate or strict. You can’t enforce your standards on others – discuss and share views, but not enforce your ways.
May I ask why eating honey isn’t acceptable to you? Just interested!

Cheers, Wilma