Not This Girl’s Best Friend…

We’re selling my engagement ring tomorrow. I have to work, but my husband is going to drive to the Shane Company and meet a couple who are buying it from us. He’ll walk away with $1150, and they’ll get the ring. We’re both happy to be selling it, although when we posted it on Craig’s List earlier this week, we noticed that almost all the rings for sale were because of a broken engagement or a divorce. There were very few happy stories.

We bought the ring 4 years ago, for $2000. At the time, we knew that we were “supposed” to get a diamond, and we had the money left over after we paid the down payment on our house. So we were thrilled to go to the Shane Company and pick out a ring. I still think it’s one of the prettiest rings I’ve ever seen. That ring was about the only traditional thing about our wedding. Over the last few years, we’ve talked about how silly we were to spend $2000 on a piece of jewelery. And yes, I know some people spend ten times that – don’t even get me started on how absurd I think that is. We both felt that we could have spent the money on much better things – things that would actually make a difference in our lives and future. Diamonds are only valuable because the people at De Beers have convinced us that only a diamond can signify true love, and that spending thousands of dollars for a rock is an essential part of getting engaged. And yet diamonds don’t make marriages stronger. Just look on Craig’s List under engagement rings and see how much money some people spent on rings that they are selling because the relationship has fallen apart. And there’s also the complete exploitation of workers in southern Africa who mine diamonds… trust me, none of them will ever be able to afford a diamond ring.

So a couple years ago, we tossed around the idea of selling the ring. We talked about it every now and again, but never did anything about it. Then last weekend, during a ten mile run with our dog, I decided that I was ready to sell it. The notion that the ring signifies our love or has any meaning in our relationship is ridiculous. I do not know any couple with a stronger partnership than we have. We are each other’s best friend, we share the same hopes and goals and ideology. After six years, we still spend every evening and weekend together. We take very good care of each other, and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Of that I am as certain as I am that the earth is round. A diamond (or lack of one) has nothing to do with our marriage.

So now we’re going to do what we wish we had done four years ago – we’re buying a cubic zirconia. This is not as easy as you would think – most cz rings are super cheap, the sort that turn fingers green. But we found a company that sells high quality synthetic diamonds, set in real gold rings. I found a ring I love, and it’s $200. That’s more like it. If no one can tell without lab testing whether a diamond is real or not, why would I care which one is on my finger?

So when all is said and done, we’ll have $950 left over, which we’ll split between our HSA and a new Roth IRA that I’m setting up next week. We both think that’s a much better use of the money than having it sitting on my finger.

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